funny one liners

1. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings......
2. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
3. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
5. There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. - Melanie Griffith
6. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain